About The Book

With stories like these, it's a wonder we didn't all end up serving time in the stockade! These are but a few of the many stories in this 260 page collection:
  • Conan the Ankle Smashing Barbarian The lengths that some guys will go to try and get out of the Army!
  • Sledge ... Sledgehammer! Military hazing at its best! And yes, I still have the hat!
  • The Holy Roller and The Barbed Wire Rodeo Catching mice is easy, but catching your Sergeant in a trap is a lot more fun!
  • What .... Is Your Quest? Because every knight needs a cause, even if it involves a German brothel!
  • Sir “Lance-a-Little” Littleton Joes love to fight, but we settled many disputes on ... a playground?
  • Two Men, One Penis Pump The ultimate barracks prank gone wrong. Way, way wrong. An unforgettable tale!
  • Stealer of Manhood, Reaper of Souls Women ... can't live with 'em, or without 'em!
  • Chief The Traffic Cop Chief disappears one night, but the MPs "found" him!
  • The Great Nazi Pigeon Invasion of 1988 Specialist Tollinger swore that pigeons were defacing his barracks room.
  • A Goat Named Gama Pets are wonderful additions! Unless you were the lonely Specialist Carlisle!
  • Monk and the Mercedes Some Joes will do just about anything to get a souvenir!
  • Airborne Queso Because who doesn't love a good cheese dip in the middle of an operation?

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Grab a Copy Today!

Multiple purchase options ...

Whether you want to hold the book physically, read it on your Kindle device, or listen to it on your next road trip, we've got you covered! The hilarity is the same no matter the format!

Soft Cover Book

$ 14.99

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Kindle Edition

$ 3.99

Coming Soon!

Audio Book

$ 19.99

Coming Soon!

About The Author

Scott Burkett The Bravest Private 1st Class in all of the 64th Armor!

Scott Burkett is a technology executive and serial entrepreneur that resides in the Atlanta, Georgia area with his wife and two daughters. He is the founder and CEO of Incursus, Inc., an Atlanta-based creative design and software development studio.

He served a tour of duty in the U.S. Army during the late 1980s, attending BASIC training and The Armor School at Ft. Knox, Kentucky. Afterwards, he was stationed in Schweinfurt, Germany with the 3rd Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment, which was a part of the 3rd Infantry Division (Mechanized) at the time. As the bravest Private First Class in the battalion, he once single-handedly fended off an onslaught of Soviet Matryoshka armed only with his Army-issue P-38 can opener. But you won’t find it in his personnel file, as it was marked classified by The Gipper himself!

Despite repeated efforts and attempts on his part, often involving quite a bit of personal creativity and assistance from his buddies, Scott never received a disciplinary Article 15 while in the Army – a fact that still both haunts and boggles him to this day.

Mr. Burkett is available for speaking engagements and book signings, but not children's birthday parties!

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Cool Reviews By Readers


Reader Feedback

I always enjoy hearing from folks who have enjoyed the read!

Use the arrow icons in the lower left/right corners of the book to page through them!

  • A terrific collection of Cold War G.I. mischief! Brought back a ton of great memories!.

    - Major Sean McLaughlin, U.S. Army (Retired)
  • For those of us who served in uniform--ANY uniform during the 1980s, this is a road march down Memory Lane. **WARNING!** Do NOT have hot coffee in your hand while reading this! You'll get it all over your nice new book! The recounts of chicanery and shenanigans are real. The names have been changed because it isn't known if the statute of limitations has run out yet. This collection of Cold War stories belongs in any former soldier's rucksack.

    - M. Dupre, via
  • Had me laughing and remembering things I had forgotten from my time in the service in the mid to late 80's. Hopefully the first book in a series!

    - James C. Chesnutt, via
  • A great insight into what life was like during the 1980's in the "Cold War" Army. As an Army veteran of this era in Germany I could relate to most of Scott's exploits. He is "spot on" describing the hilarious adventures he was a part of during peacetime military duty and training exercises. My only problem with the book is it was too short! I can't wait to read future volumes, keep 'em coming Scott!

    - Ed Heidelbach, via
  • The author has a wonderfully colorful story telling capability that puts you in the moment. For veterans of any armed service it will bring you back to your time in, basic training, and all the related hijinks that can, and will, occur when you put GIs together, add a dash [or few gallons] of adult beverages and sprinkle in some courageous adventuring in a foreign land.

    - D. Ingram, via
  • A fantastically funny romp through Cold War Europe! Some of the stories will have your jaw hitting the floor and your side literally hurting with laughter. The stories are all bite-sized, ranging from a couple of pages to 10 pages in length, and you can read them pretty much in any order. This would be a great gift for a veteran or active duty service person.

    - Roderick Samuels, via
  • I just finished reading Cold War Diaries. It took a while to complete, because each story made me remember one from my service days (70s-90s). Have not laughed that much in a very long time. They also made me remember the stories my father told me about his Army service during WW II in Burma and India. It would seem that the opportunities for mayhem have not diminished nor are likely too. Thanks. Looking forward to Vol 2.

    - Alan Kimball, via the author's blog
  • OMG... Absolutely spot on Scott!!! You definitely took me down memory lane with your book. I'm still laughing now just as hard as I did nearly 30 years ago when I first heard, or witnessed, these stories firsthand, lol. By the way, I also picked up two copies of the book. One for keepsake on my bookshelf and the other one that has already caught some spilled (spit-up) hefe, lol! Please give me a heads-up on FB when you start working on Volume 2, Thanks. Awesome job Scott... We Pierce!

    - PEH, via
  • Joes: Cold War Diaries Volume 1 arrived yesterday. Already 66 pages in and it has activated the memory banks. A recommended read for all you 80s soldiers, especially if you spent time in Deutschland. Job well done Scott Burkett.

    - Keith Binkley, via Facebook
  • I laughed until I cried. I feel like I'm there - again. The silly , pressure of Ivan being within artillery range, and the hijinks are all things I remember from my Army days. I laughed until I cried describes not just how funny the stories are, but how much I miss my brothers. If you are in the sensitive modern Army, you might think it all fiction. In reality, Scott downplays the seemingly endless dumb stuff we used to do to fight the stress and boredom associated with, "War might start tomorrow." Thank you Scott. SPC Bierman

    - SPC Bierman, via
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